“If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” We’ve all heard this saying while growing up and it’s definitely something to be mindful of when speaking. Sometimes we absent mindedly say things without thinking twice about the impact they may have on the person on the receiving end. To us, it is just regular small talk that we’re accustomed to; the words truly don’t hold any hate, but without knowing it, our words can have a serious negative impact on others.
Growing up in the Caribbean, the first greeting, immediately following a hello from an aunt, uncle, distant relative or family friend—anyone, really— usually includes a comment about the person’s weight. The conversation typically goes like: “Hey, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. You looking like you put on some weight there,” or sometimes it can even be, “Hey, it’s been so long. You look like you’ve been starving yourself. Everything good?” As previously stated, these things are usually not said from a place of bad intention, but those words can resonate deeply with the other person.
I distinctly recall a Christmas gathering where a neighbour very openly said to me, in front a large group, “You’ve gained so much weight; you were so tiny and now you look very different from the last time I saw you.” Usually hearing comments about my weight never bothers me but in that moment, it shocked me to my core and left me feeling horrible about myself. I immediately left and went inside, looked at a mirror and started to see myself in a different light. Suddenly, I saw the extra weight and even though when I got dressed I thought I looked great, now the outfit didn’t fit right, my body wasn’t looking good and I needed to make an action plan to lose the weight. For the rest of the night, I tried to stay inside and avoided going in front of that group.
Now, these negative feelings didn’t last long but they made me reflect and realise that this is actually such a common issue and we don’t speak about it. Just because an issue is under-acknowledged in society doesn’t make it acceptable, nor does it mean that we should not take actionable steps to address it. Weight bias occurs when individuals hold negative attitudes towards others based on their weight and can be implicit (unconscious) or explicit (conscious). On an unconscious level, it refers to our immediate reactions or thoughts towards someone and on a conscious level, the prejudice or negative attitudes are more blatant, intentional and outward, manifesting themselves in actions which may be physical or verbal in nature.
While this stigma exists for persons across a spectrum, it disproportionately affects persons with larger body sizes, those who don’t fit into the ideal body standard that has been defined by Western culture. With a society that is obsessed with diet culture, there is the belief that once you commit to eating clean and follow a robust exercise plan, you will be able to achieve the “right” body frame and weight. These beliefs and attitudes completely dismiss the factors such as environmental influences, genetics, socioeconomic realities and even underlying health conditions. Instead, they perpetuate the strong idea that it is solely up to the individual’s control.
We may not always point it out, but weight bias results in more than just temporary discomfort.
Weight bias often leads to weight stigma where individuals who don’t fit into the unrealistic predefined standards are criticized, ostracized or even mistreated. These can be seen in numerous settings, such as healthcare, the workplace, at schools and in media portrayals. They are even embedded directly in policies and practices which result in discrimination. In healthcare, some persons may not receive high quality treatment as their concerns may be dismissed as simply needing to eat better and lose weight. These may lead to individuals not wanting to access healthcare when they experience medical issues. Similarly, when individuals are made uncomfortable in spaces such as the gym, it may result in them quitting and losing motivation to be active. Additionally, this unrealistic standard is still very prevalent on social media where a specific body frame or size is typically used for campaigns.
To us, it may seem that a little “tough love” is needed and it is our sworn duty to let those around us know that they need to lose weight. I’ve even heard statements such as, “We’ve gone soft as a society,” but it is important to keep in mind that while historically this has been a norm, it doesn’t make it acceptable nor does it mean that we should continue to move forward like this. According to the World Health Organization, some of the negative effects of weight bias and obesity stigma are low self-esteem and self-confidence, suicidal thoughts and acts, maladaptive eating patterns, depression, anxiety and psychological disorders.
Now that we have an understanding of the negative effects of weight bias and weight stigma, what can we do about it?
The first step towards breaking this is awareness. It begins with you, the individual, being aware of your own internalized bias. Take some time to reflect and recognize this within yourself. Do you subconsciously associate being “thin” with being healthy? Do you form negative perceptions of individuals who do not fall within this ideal? Secondly, it then becomes important to pay attention to your language. Be mindful of the way you speak and try not to use words in a derogatory manner when speaking to others about their weight or size. Once you educate yourself, you can now advocate for change by raising awareness during interactions with others when the issue comes up and also by speaking about it within your circles and communities.
While policies and practices need to change, weight stigma can be challenged on an individual level by educating yourself and others, embracing body diversity, advocating for change within your own circles and platforms, and supporting companies who are also actively dismantling these norms. It may be difficult to unlearn these behaviours but it is not impossible.
