Mental health is a taboo topic in far too many Caribbean households, and, sadly, this is especially true when it comes to the mental health of our children. Take for example the common belief that a lot of parents share, that children cannot be stressed. Why? because they have no reason to be stressed, no bills, no job, none of the stressors that normally affect adults. This is misconception. Stress is a normal response to changes and challenges, and everyone, children included, experiences it. Age simply does not matter when it comes to stress!
So, let’s talk about children and stress. Stress can be positive or negative, helpful or harmful. Stress is helpful in small amounts, where the child has adequate support. Starting a new school, making new friends, preparing for exams, participating in a sporting event – all of these are stressors, but they can also help children become resilient, and can aid in their development.
Stress can be harmful when it is more intense, and the child has less support. Then it can overwhelm a child’s ability to cope. This may happen as a result of worrying about exam results, bullying or peer pressure, low self-esteem, issues at home such as parental conflict, or unwanted changes in the environment, such as the loss of a loved one.
As a parent you cannot prevent your child from ever experiencing stress, but you can help them learn to cope. Adults can provide children with outlets to express their feelings by teaching them healthy coping mechanisms, learning to listen without judgement and encouraging them with love, stability, and support. These conversations are intentional on the part of the adult and crucial for the development of the child.
I’m sure you won’t be surprised when I say that diet and lifestyle choices also play a crucial role in helping children manage their stress. As adults we know that it’s very easy to slip into unhealthy habits when we’re stressed. This goes for children as well! When a child is stressed, they may eat more unhealthy foods and less nutritious foods, and larger portions. They may also become less active. This is where you can help, and here are a few things you can do to help your children!
1. Ensure that your children start their day with a good, nutritious breakfast. This can help maintain blood sugar levels, balance stress hormones, and help them concentrate throughout the day. Breakfast doesn’t have to be extravagant – scrambled eggs or tuna salad, whole wheat toast and avocado with a cup of MILO, or a bowl of Cheerios with milk, a serving of yogurt and a glass of fruit or vegetable juice. Do try your best to always include fresh fruit!
2. Limit sweets. Sugar drives adrenaline and cortisol, so when a child consumes lots of sugar it not only amplifies their stress response but also decreases their ability to cope. You can help by replacing snacks that are high in added sugars with fresh fruit or a whole grain-based food.
3. Have meals together. This gives you the perfect opportunity to talk about what happened during the day and to have some fun together. Parents can also use it as a time to set a good example of healthy habits, which is great because children model the skills and behaviours that they see.
4. Schedule regular physical activity and a good night’s sleep. This provides children with stability in their daily routine. Regular physical activity is an excellent way to relieve stress and has a positive effect on mental health. And not getting enough sleep has a significantly negative impact on stress levels and ability to cope.
While these tips may help, dealing with stress in children, there is no one-size-fits-all remedy. It is important to learn how to recognize signs of unresolved stress in your child. And never be afraid to ask for help. Reach out for advice from a health care provider, counsellor, or therapist when you are concerned about stress in your child!
